I am the Executive Creative Director of the ad agency in my mind. In my mind, I pitch new clients every day and always produce whatever I think of. There are no account people in my mind, no creative people above me and no stupid shareholders. There is only me in my mind and everything is always approved. I am not hiring.

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Unamerican Apparel

I am not a parent, although I do enjoy the process of making children. I am not a church deacon, because I think you have to be black for that. What I AM is a responsible member of the 4 A’s, and as such, I must bring to light something that has been sticking in my craw.

If Jesus came down to earth his first order of business would be to severely reprimand American Apparel. And not just because they have created a generation of smelly hipsters. How could you not agree with me, just take a look.

I can’t believe I reposted them, I’m going to eat a communion wafer as soon as I hit “publish”. As an imaginary winner of several regional Effie’s, a D&AD pencil, 4 Green Clovers, 3 Purple Horseshoes and a Silver Diamond, I felt the urge to contact Dov Charney, owner of American Apparel. This is Dov, on the phone with a hooker.

Needless to say, he wasn’t receptive. So I took it upon myself to rebrand AA. I’m sure you will find their new styles way more appropriate yet still in touch with the young lady who’s looking to catch a gentleman’s eye.

Now I can go to sleep tonight.

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