Stop telling me how to live my life, Pringles.

I’m tired of Pringles telling me I can’t stop. I can stop popping anytime I want. You don’t control me, Pringles. What is Pringles’ deal? It makes me not want to eat those delicious chips, which conflicts me. So instead of being so angry at that stupid red can I decided to channel my feelings into a new campaign for them. I didn’t even bother pitching them I just took their business, that’s the beauty of my agency.

First I thought I’d create a microsite with a pop and locker who never stops. We’d break the Guinness Book of World Records, he’d literally get down for seventy three hours straight… but then I realized I’m just perpetuating the “Once you pop you can’t stop” line which I so hate.

I then had a sit-down with myself to question my focus in regards to my own agency. That was not pleasant, I thought I was almost fired.

Then it hit me. I must convince people they CAN stop. Pringles has to be an ambassador of hope for people. Because it doesn’t stop with salted potato slices. Battering your wife, chronic masturbation, hoarding- if you can put down these delicious chips you can do anything. Genius.

With the launch of my staggeringly awesome idea public opinion will soar and everyone will love the shit out of Pringles regardless if they’re in the highly coveted 14-26 year old snacking demographic. By the way I am positive that Pringles’ previous agency (before mine) actually broke their audience down into a snacking demographic, and then named this demographic something like Chaz. “Chaz comes home after a hard day of ninth grading and needs to pop something in his mouth, and not just that same old chip.” At which point had I worked there I would have said “I know what Chaz likes to pop in his mouth and once he starts he definitely won’t stop.” which would have assured me severely limited exposure to client meetings. And as we all know, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.